


Alm Versus Awakening

by wingsofthenight



Category: Fire Emblem 外伝 | Fire Emblem Gaiden, Fire Emblem: Kakusei | Fire Emblem: Awakening
Genre: Gen, Pretty much just crack, blame people enabling me, no gaiden/echoes spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-16
Updated: 2017-02-16
Packaged: 2018-09-25 00:45:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,116
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9794816
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wingsofthenight/pseuds/wingsofthenight
Summary: In which Alm is Not Amused by what Valm has done to Valencia and sets out to get back at the Valmese Army.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Blame the people in the HotE discord for messing around last night.
> 
> All names are as if this had been written pre-direct, so things like Valencia instead of Valentia. Pretty minor changes though, so you should be able to figure out what is meant fairly easily.

This was it, the beginning of their final battle against Walhart. The Ylissian League had gone through many different battles to reach this day, losing some treasured companions along the way. However, they would not let their sacrifice be in vain. Today, they would defeat Walhart and bring back peace to the continent of Valm.

“That’s him, isn’t it?” Chrom asked, gesturing to the mounted figure in red at the head of the army. (Who also looked kind of like a lobster in that armor, but that’s beside the point.) “Walhart… Brave of him to come fight us.”

“Brave? Aye. But more likely he just wants to enjoy this himself,” Say’ri said.

“You do your sister's legacy proud, Prince!” Walhart shouted across the battlefield. “But humanity already has a savior. A conqueror who broke stronger men than you when they refused to bow. Warriors of Valm! Ride with me now! Together we still stamp out this final pack of insurgents and unite the-“

“FINALLY! I FINALLY FOUND YOU, YOU DASTARD!”

Both armies turned as one to look at the newcomer. Chrom glanced over at Lucina, wondering if this was another one of the children from the future, but she only shook her head, as confused as he was.

The green-haired man was glaring at Walhart and his army, paying the Ylissian League no mind. “You had to go ruin everything, didn’t you? Every single thing I worked for? You had to go make Valencia a laughingstock, didn’t you? Everyone already forgot about my story! That was bad enough, and then _you_ had to go and do _this_!”

“What are you talking about? Who are you?” Walhart demanded.

“I’m Alm! Yes, that Alm! The one that united the continent and didn’t screw it up in the process!”

Conversations broke out between the two armies, some in disbelief and some in shock. The Ylissians, due to already having time travelers in their army, found this more believable than their opponents, but were still confused as to how and why he was here. Chrom noticed that Walhart wasn’t one of those that were questioning it. Could he have found out about the children? It wasn’t as if they were keeping it that secret, so it was possible that he could have found out some way or another.

“If you are the ancient King Alm, why are you angry? I am only continuing your work of uniting the world.”

“You’re screwing Valencia up!” Alm shouted in frustration. “First you renamed it to something stupid-“

“My predecessors chose to name it in honor of you.”

“MY NAME IS ALM! DON’T ADD A STUPID V TO MY NAME! I die a little every single time I hear it! Also, what’s with all the cavalry? We had like four horses! Where did you get them, and was it really necessary to make the entire freaking army cavaliers? Where’s the variety! Also what happened to being able to do magic without a freaking tome? _Someone_ should still be able to do it without it! That kind of thing doesn’t go away in a few generations if I understood Celica right!”

No one could get a single word in. Alm was too busy ranting.

“Why is there a place called Doma’s Remains in what was Zofia? I fought him north in Rigel! Even if some idiot unsealed him he wouldn’t have moved a mountain that far south! Also, the Mila Tree? We didn’t have that and even if it did it wouldn’t be in the freaking north! It’d be in the south! You know, _where Mila actually had some presence?_ Also, what happened to your archers? Ours could attack from any distance, but yours has a ridiculously limited range! Where did all of these different cultures come from? We didn’t have anything like Chon’sin! Furthermore-“

“Alm! Stop it!”

Everyone turned to the newcomer. The redheaded woman glared at Alm. “I’ve been trying to track you down this entire time! Do you know how much trouble you’ve caused?”

They could see Alm sigh. “But Celica, they ruined Valencia! Do you really want to leave that be?”

“Yes, it is annoying, but was it really necessary for you to find someone that can send you forward in time and bug them until they did?”

“Yes. Yes it was.”

They could almost hear Celica facepalm. “Alm,” she started, “We’re going home. You’ve already beat up tons of soldiers that said something to annoy you. You don’t need to fight an army.”

Murmurs broke out amongst the Valmese army. Walhart asked, “That was you? I had thought it was the work of the Grimleal and acted accordingly.”

“Yes, it was me!”

Chrom heard Lucina mutter, “That explains why they invaded so much earlier…” He made a mental note to ask about that later before turning his attention back to the shouting match between Alm and Walhart’s army.

“Alm, please just let it go. As far as we know, the two of us will be dead for centuries before any of this even begins to happen.”

“No. They ruined everything. We’re already forgotten and I won’t let this be how we’re remembered!”

Before Celica could say another word, Alm suddenly drew his sword and rushed into the middle of the Valmese, killing many of them before they could even draw their weapons.

“Alm! Stop it!” the redhead shouted, running after him.

While this was happening, the Ylissian League stared at the scene, just watching Alm slaughter the army with occasional help from Celica whenever a soldier tried attacking her while she attempted to stop her husband.

“…This is Walhart’s elite army,” Say’ri said in a daze. “The one that defeated Baisilio’s army, that brought the continent under Walhart’s rule.”

“…I’m very glad that he’s not attacking us,” Chrom stated, watching Alm take on Walhart himself. Everyone in earshot nodded in agreement as the ancient hero struck down the conqueror.

Finally, Celica managed to grab him after he struck the final blow and started dragging him away from the battlefield. “Celica! He’s still alive!”

“The other army can take care of him. We’re going home.”

They watched them leave, disappearing in a flash of light once they were far enough away. None of the Ylissians moved, all of them still in shock. After a moment, Walhart and what was left of his followers started moving into the fort behind them in an attempt to regroup and maybe get some healing done.

Finally, the Ylissian League snapped out of it, heading towards the fort to finish the job that Alm had started, still confused out of their minds and wondering if anyone would ever be able to explain what had just happened.

**Author's Note:**

> I warned you that this was pretty much crack. Funny crack yes, but still.
> 
> By the way, with this, Alm becomes more of an exp thief than Pent, TIbarn, or Ryoma could ever hope to be. He took an entire chapter's worth of exp from the player.
> 
> You may think that Alm is completely out of character here. He's not. Exaggerated maybe, but he's really that vicious in Gaiden itself. You can still see it in Awakening too if you recruit him in the DLC. If anyone is OOC it might be Celica because she's actually nicer and probably wouldn't drag Alm off, but I'll make myself feel better and say that she's sick and tired of running around Valm and trying to find Alm. Yeah let's go with that.
> 
> Anyway, some explanations for you guys that haven't played:
> 
> 1) All dialogue before Alm shows up is taken from the Chapter 19 gamescript.  
> 2) Meta joke about forgetting since before Echoes was announced Gaiden was never mentioned anywhere.  
> 3) You really don't get much cavalry in Gaiden. It's up in the air whether the remake will add more or not. (Personally I think Celica's army could use one or two but that's just me.)  
> 4) As you may have noticed, they don't use tomes. Instead they cast spells from their HP. I wouldn't be surprised if they reworked it, but who knows and it seems like they still do.  
> 5) It was renamed in the English version, but the volcano where you fight Yen'fay is called Doma's Remains in Japanese.  
> 6) Mila Tree is pretty much what I said in here.  
> 7) Archers can have 1-5 range and it is amazing! Also unsurprising is the fact that it's never been brought back.  
> 8) Japanese-inspired Chon'sin wasn't a thing in Gaiden. On the flip side we do see stark differences in Rigel and Zofia, so it's not like both countries are the same.  
> 9) It's a joke, but Alm terrorizing towns would explain why Walhart made a move against Ylisse so much earlier in this timeline than the ones the kids came from. (It was like 10 years later or something, I can't remember.)
> 
> Not quite sure why I'm explaining it all because I don't expect that many people to read this, but if it helps someone it should be worth it.


End file.
